Hardwork
Eloquence
Literacy
Patience.
This is what I require most at this moment. My dissertation and assignment due dates are coming very soon. Just another 2 months and I'll have my degree. I can do it!
Clement FTW!
P.S. : Note the capitals XD I need that too!
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Sunday, 24 February 2008
No man is an island.
Its has been 6 months since I arrived in the UK. In this short duration, I realized that I have learned a great deal of knowledge. I see how things work differently, why it happens and what made it happen. I has cleared my mind and opened it to see the world as I have never seen it before. With this experience, I feel I can do anything now. To travel, to take up a new hobby, to prepare for the working life and a whole lot more. But now there is something I wish dearly for. Companionship.
I have felt lonely at times while living here. I feel as though nothing in this world knows I'm here. I felt like a rock which no one knew or even bothered. I became unmotivated, lazy, and eventually moody. I easily became angry, silent or felt destructive. Loneliness can do crazy things to a man. I have never felt so bad in my life before this. I have been patient and tolerating but it couldn't overcome my moments of grief.
I have tried a lot of things to compensate over this. I tried playing video games but it bores me out fast. I tried to focus on my studies but it couldn't keep my mind off as it puts more strain on me. As days go by, I almost felt I could become insane. I didn't want that to happen so I decided to fake my happiness. I forced myself to laugh, to smile. I stacked up playing cards, threw them up in the air (and tried to flick out the Aces as seen on television =P), and also kicked, dribble (and volleyed) with a football in my room. Now you know how a time waster, waste his time.
I did this consistently for a few days. It was until I had several chats with my friends and family who are in my home country. After a good long chat with them, I felt good. As the matter of a fact, I felt GREAT. It was then I realized that I still had hope. I still had a purpose to fulfill in my life. It wasn't time for me to give up.
In some way, they saved my life. I owe them that much and so I promise them that no matter how bad things go, I WILL NOT GIVE UP because I know that, out there, there are people who still care. I am not alone.
I have felt lonely at times while living here. I feel as though nothing in this world knows I'm here. I felt like a rock which no one knew or even bothered. I became unmotivated, lazy, and eventually moody. I easily became angry, silent or felt destructive. Loneliness can do crazy things to a man. I have never felt so bad in my life before this. I have been patient and tolerating but it couldn't overcome my moments of grief.
I have tried a lot of things to compensate over this. I tried playing video games but it bores me out fast. I tried to focus on my studies but it couldn't keep my mind off as it puts more strain on me. As days go by, I almost felt I could become insane. I didn't want that to happen so I decided to fake my happiness. I forced myself to laugh, to smile. I stacked up playing cards, threw them up in the air (and tried to flick out the Aces as seen on television =P), and also kicked, dribble (and volleyed) with a football in my room. Now you know how a time waster, waste his time.
I did this consistently for a few days. It was until I had several chats with my friends and family who are in my home country. After a good long chat with them, I felt good. As the matter of a fact, I felt GREAT. It was then I realized that I still had hope. I still had a purpose to fulfill in my life. It wasn't time for me to give up.
In some way, they saved my life. I owe them that much and so I promise them that no matter how bad things go, I WILL NOT GIVE UP because I know that, out there, there are people who still care. I am not alone.
Saturday, 9 February 2008
Happy Chinese New Year!
Its been quite some time... again since I ever posted in my blog but its Chinese New Year and I would like to wish those who are reading through my blog, GONG HEY FATT CHOY!
'Fook'. Part of my chinese name.
This would be the first year that I am not celebrating with my family but no sweat. I'll be with them and my friends soon enough. =D
'Fook'. Part of my chinese name.This would be the first year that I am not celebrating with my family but no sweat. I'll be with them and my friends soon enough. =D
Saturday, 26 January 2008
Strength
Nowadays life is not always what it seemed to me as always. I feel stuck, caged unable to move, to freely say, speak, voice out opinions. A fear cripples me, brings me down. Now I am not who I am anymore. I became something else. Silent, cold and bitter.
Why? Why did this happen? I wonder by myself sometimes. Honestly, I don't know the real reason but I do know that I am often misunderstood in many ways. Sometimes I feel that I scare people.
I was more of an outgoing person. Happy-go-lucky, adventurous and energetic. Did whatever I wanted which made me happy. Kept telling myself that I could do anything. Being positive. I helped without even being asked. I helped unconditionally. I never asked for anything back in return. Although sometimes I feel that my help is unappreciated. It never stopped me from helping. Somethings in my life may turn bad at times and I will feel worse. At times, I don't know what am I doing or what to do anymore but I told myself to keep going on. I took on the challenges and faced it. I never gave up hope.
I am tolerant till this day and will always be, to show my undying strength, that I will pursue what my family had hoped for and what I'd hope for.
Why? Why did this happen? I wonder by myself sometimes. Honestly, I don't know the real reason but I do know that I am often misunderstood in many ways. Sometimes I feel that I scare people.
I was more of an outgoing person. Happy-go-lucky, adventurous and energetic. Did whatever I wanted which made me happy. Kept telling myself that I could do anything. Being positive. I helped without even being asked. I helped unconditionally. I never asked for anything back in return. Although sometimes I feel that my help is unappreciated. It never stopped me from helping. Somethings in my life may turn bad at times and I will feel worse. At times, I don't know what am I doing or what to do anymore but I told myself to keep going on. I took on the challenges and faced it. I never gave up hope.
I am tolerant till this day and will always be, to show my undying strength, that I will pursue what my family had hoped for and what I'd hope for.
Friday, 11 January 2008
The Return
Finally after 2 months of non-stop action, I'm able to rest now. I felt the blog has become stagnant after such a long time but it will not last for long!
Yes, after 2 months of non-stop action, there is plenty to say but let me build-up some stories for it yeah?
I will be giving out previews of my experience here. Adventures from the city of Edinburgh, to Barcelona, the first Christmas celebrations in UK and not forgetting the most unforgettable snow experience that I had.
So stay tuned.
Yes, after 2 months of non-stop action, there is plenty to say but let me build-up some stories for it yeah?
I will be giving out previews of my experience here. Adventures from the city of Edinburgh, to Barcelona, the first Christmas celebrations in UK and not forgetting the most unforgettable snow experience that I had.
So stay tuned.
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