No man is an island.

Its has been 6 months since I arrived in the UK. In this short duration, I realized that I have learned a great deal of knowledge. I see how things work differently, why it happens and what made it happen. I has cleared my mind and opened it to see the world as I have never seen it before. With this experience, I feel I can do anything now. To travel, to take up a new hobby, to prepare for the working life and a whole lot more. But now there is something I wish dearly for. Companionship.

I have felt lonely at times while living here. I feel as though nothing in this world knows I'm here. I felt like a rock which no one knew or even bothered. I became unmotivated, lazy, and eventually moody. I easily became angry, silent or felt destructive. Loneliness can do crazy things to a man. I have never felt so bad in my life before this. I have been patient and tolerating but it couldn't overcome my moments of grief.

I have tried a lot of things to compensate over this. I tried playing video games but it bores me out fast. I tried to focus on my studies but it couldn't keep my mind off as it puts more strain on me. As days go by, I almost felt I could become insane. I didn't want that to happen so I decided to fake my happiness. I forced myself to laugh, to smile. I stacked up playing cards, threw them up in the air (and tried to flick out the Aces as seen on television =P), and also kicked, dribble (and volleyed) with a football in my room. Now you know how a time waster, waste his time.

I did this consistently for a few days. It was until I had several chats with my friends and family who are in my home country. After a good long chat with them, I felt good. As the matter of a fact, I felt GREAT. It was then I realized that I still had hope. I still had a purpose to fulfill in my life. It wasn't time for me to give up.

In some way, they saved my life. I owe them that much and so I promise them that no matter how bad things go, I WILL NOT GIVE UP because I know that, out there, there are people who still care. I am not alone.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Its been quite some time... again since I ever posted in my blog but its Chinese New Year and I would like to wish those who are reading through my blog, GONG HEY FATT CHOY!

'Fook'. Part of my chinese name.

This would be the first year that I am not celebrating with my family but no sweat. I'll be with them and my friends soon enough. =D

Strength

Nowadays life is not always what it seemed to me as always. I feel stuck, caged unable to move, to freely say, speak, voice out opinions. A fear cripples me, brings me down. Now I am not who I am anymore. I became something else. Silent, cold and bitter.

Why? Why did this happen? I wonder by myself sometimes. Honestly, I don't know the real reason but I do know that I am often misunderstood in many ways. Sometimes I feel that I scare people.

I was more of an outgoing person. Happy-go-lucky, adventurous and energetic. Did whatever I wanted which made me happy. Kept telling myself that I could do anything. Being positive. I helped without even being asked. I helped unconditionally. I never asked for anything back in return. Although sometimes I feel that my help is unappreciated. It never stopped me from helping. Somethings in my life may turn bad at times and I will feel worse. At times, I don't know what am I doing or what to do anymore but I told myself to keep going on. I took on the challenges and faced it. I never gave up hope.

I am tolerant till this day and will always be, to show my undying strength, that I will pursue what my family had hoped for and what I'd hope for.

The Return

Finally after 2 months of non-stop action, I'm able to rest now. I felt the blog has become stagnant after such a long time but it will not last for long!

Yes, after 2 months of non-stop action, there is plenty to say but let me build-up some stories for it yeah?

I will be giving out previews of my experience here. Adventures from the city of Edinburgh, to Barcelona, the first Christmas celebrations in UK and not forgetting the most unforgettable snow experience that I had.

So stay tuned.

Football Match!

It has been a busy month of November for me with assignments and work but on the 5th of December 2007, I was able to do something I have wanted to do for nearly 5 years...

Watching a real live English Premier League (EPL) match and meeting the footballers of my favorite team...

Arsenal

I watched the game in St. James Park, which is the stadium for Newcastle United Football Club (NUFC) with a couple of my friends. The match only started at 7.45 p.m. UK time but we were so excited, so we made a move to the stadium. As we journeyed towards our destination, we were able to see hordes of people walking towards the same destination. Yes, that's right. Hordes. A vast multitude. Thousands. The mood was getting electrifying. So we headed up to our seats in the stadium. When I reached the top of the stadium, my goosebumps stood. As I entered the entrance, the roar of the fans echoed throughout the stadium.

St. James Park

Fans of both teams chanting their respective songs, clapping. I was overwhelmed. I know now how it feels being in a stadium, it was great. I managed to spot a couple of players before the match started while they were warming up. In the Arsenal team, a few main players didn't appear. Fabregas, Hleb, Van Persie are among the few who didn't turn up due to injury. Then we headed to our seats in the stadium. FYI, we were sitting in the NEWCASTLE UNITED side so it kinda sucked for me. >.<

The ceremony. I don't know what its called. =P

Then the whistle was blown. Fans started cheering and literally shaking the stadium. Within 3 minutes of the game, Arsenal scored with a beautiful shot by Emmanuel Adebayor. Although there were only roughly 30% of Arsenal fans but it was loud enough to be heard in the stadium. I wanted to join them in celebrating but I didn't and couldn't do it in front of the Newcastle fans. Sad, I know. Anyway the game continued.

25. Emmanuel Adebayor

As the game progressed, the fans continually chant their songs and anthems. During the first half of the game, the Newcastle team was devastated. Passes was not completed, high balls were not accurate and the Arsenal team was the opposite. Newcastle sucked. Even the fans around me agreed. They were shouting harsh words like 'F@#$ Off'', 'F@#$ing B@$%^r^$' and 'B100dy S^1t'. Mostly was towards their own players because their performance sucked, badly.

Boo! Get out you B100Dy Sh1t3!

After the second half started, Newcastle started to look more aggressive. Probably Big Sam gave them a good ol' lecture. Alan Smith, striker for Newcastle United was the one creating a lot of chances. He tackled hard and played hard. He was also Man-of-the-Match.

17. Alan Smith: ROAR!

Then during the 60th minute of the match, Steven Taylor scored for Newcastle. The crowd went mad! It shook the stadium. Literally. The goal was kinda disappointing for me but it gave me the chance to feel the atmosphere of the passionate fans celebrating the goal. Then 30 minutes went by with the normal chanting and cheering of the fans while the both teams try to create chances to score more goals. The final whistle was blown. It was the end of the match. Arsenal 1, Newcastle United 1. A draw.

Immediately everyone started leaving the stadium. We followed after taking a few shots of the stadium. As soon as we reached the the ground level of the stadium there was a waiting area where a few people were lining up. At that time, I was with my friend, Shane. We figure out that the Arsenal players will be boarding the bus to bring them home. AUTOGRAPH CHANCE! We searched desperately for any paper and pen but only managed to get a small white piece of paper and a pen. Then one by one the players started to appear! OH WE WERE EXCITED! We started taking pictures of them and tried to get autographs. First Gael Clichy appeared. We didn't manage to get his autograph but got a picture of him.

22.Gael Clichy

Then the following players appeared respectively.

15. Denilson

26. Nicklas Bendtner

7. Tomas Rosicky

24. Manuel Almunia

19. Gilberto Silva

5. Kolo Toure

There were several other players such as Willam Gallas, Theo Walcott and Adebayor but unfortunately I didn't take any pictures of them because I was busy getting autographs from them. Fortunately I got them! HAHAHA

Autographs!

More autographs! and yeah Eboue signed twice for us!

Well it was the single most enjoyable and exciting night of my life. This will be the first time and it will also not be the last, I will be watching another football match. Also to all my football friends, I miss futsol! Cheerio!