Obviously for this few months, I rarely post up new topics in the blog. This is because that I have no motivation at all to do it. It is also obvious that my few previous posts have been about me ranting and ranting all night long. Well there is a reason and hopefully this would be the stop of my rants.
Life in Newcastle now is not as what it seems. People can say I am lucky and should be happy but sometimes I feel it another way around. I am lucky in a sense that I am able to experience new and never seen before things. Things like experiencing the 4 seasons of the year, different culture and heh the exchange rate =P. There is more but it would never replace or cover what I'm feeling rite now. I feel bored. I feel alone. I feel that I'm becoming Will Smith in 'I Am Legend'.
In 'I Am Legend', Will Smith acted as a government scientist who discovered a threatening virus outbreak. He was immune thus allowing him to live. He decided to stay in New York and try to create an anti-virus to save humanity. For 3 years he survived. Alone. Everyday he lived in fear. He talked to his dog and put up some mannequins to keep himself sane. After his dog died, he went berserk and tried to sacrifice his own life. He ended up being beaten by some 'evolved humans' but saved by a woman and a boy. When he woke up, he saw the woman and the boy having their breakfast. After all this years of not communicating with other humans, he didn't know how to react to them. The woman says something he dislikes and SMASH, he shows his anger and his bitterness by shoving his plate, scaring both the woman and the boy.
The point of me telling of this story is that I feel the same way as he does. There are humans around me but its rare that I communicate with them. Those humans could be those 'evolved humans' who only can live in the darkness. Couped within themselves and I as Will Smith is becoming like him but to a certain extent. I feel that my communication with humans are not as good anymore and it isn't appealing to the other 'new' humans around.
The main point is that I feel isolated. I feel unneeded. I feel that I am useless. Just another 'human'. I just don't want to be treated and feel that way. I don't know about others but personally I hate it. I am a good friend. I can tell you that with confidence because I know who I am. I can share, laugh, tolerate and be patient but that we all know has a limit. My philosophy in my life is simple. The way you treat me is the way you'll be treated. Its fair, its balanced, and simple.
To keep things short, some caring wouldn't hurt a soul.